Core: Scene Setting | Core: Emotions | Core: Relationships | Core: Intimacy and Sex | Core: Money

Core: Relationships

By nature we humans are creatures of community. At heart what we really want is to love and be loved, even if MS sometimes make us feel unlovable! As Dr Dean Ornish ^[1] says:

“Love and intimacy - our ability to connect with ourselves and others and find meaning in our lives,
is at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well,
what causes sadness and what brings happiness,
what makes us suffer and what leads to healing.”

Think about your life.

Do you agree that your most profound moments are when you touch others? Or they touch you?

This especially applies in times of suffering: loss, sickness, death. Then, we don’t seek prescriptions, formulas, or advice. Rather, what we want is the healing presence of another who accepts you as you are.

Perhaps then you agree that a fulfilling life is not about the pursuit of more, low cholesterol levels, intellectual brilliance or career accomplishments?

It IS about Relationships: human connections with parents, siblings, spouses, children and friends.

Yes?

It’s just that the times when you feel really connected seem too few!

Sadly, for those of us with Multiple Sclerosis, relationships pose even greater challenges than for the general population.

Not only do we have relationship issues with others, but our relationship with ourself seems to be radically altered as MS destroys our self identity and self respect.

How often do you feel loneliness, disconnectedness and self-alienation?

How many times have you felt compelled to avoid some aspect of your life because MS made you feel inadequate or less than whole?

How many times have you worried that you aren’t the person you once were? And worse, that others think this too?

Too often I bet.

Now here’s the real revelation: How would you feel if you knew that many of these relationship challenges originate in unexpected traumatic or shocking childhood events which have fundamentally impacted your biology (psyche, brain, organ), emotional wellbeing and relationships.

You see how this may be so in My Story where I show how the relationship with my father radically affected my life.

The purpose of Core: Relationships is to explore exactly how relationships affect MS and MS affects your relationships.

The focus initially is on YOU: your relationship with yourself.

Unless you are comfortable in your own skin, how can you expect to have fulfilling relationships with others? If you don’t learn how to love yourself, you’ll be stuck in dysfunctional patterns of relating in your relationships.

So please enjoy this revelation into the relationship aspects of :

1. The ‘Biology’ of Relationships
2. MS and the Meaning of Relationships
3. Your Relationship with Yourself
4. Your Relationship with Power and Energy
5. Personal Power, Attachments and Healing
6. Your Relationship with Others
7. Your Relationship with Money
8. Conclusion

1. The ‘Biology’ of Relationships

I mentioned earlier, and showed in My Story how many relationship challenges originate in unexpected traumatic or shocking childhood events which have fundamentally impacted your biology (psyche, brain, organ) and emotional wellbeing. These in turn affect your relationships.

Now, let’s see how exactly.

The best scientific explanation comes from the pioneer of German New Medicine (GNM), Dr Geerd Hamer.^[2] It is supported by many proponents of Holistic Medicine, and especially by those such as Bob Hoffman’s The Hoffman Quadrinity Process ^[3]

1.1. Dr Geerd Hamer, German New Medicine (GNM)

D

r Hamer’s GNM ^[2] methodology proves how every disease originates from a ‘conflict shock’ or unexpected deeply traumatic emotional event.

This shock impacts a specific area in the brain, causing a disturbance that is clearly visible on a brain scan.

When the brain receives the ‘conflict message’, the organ or tissue that is controlled from the affected brain area also reacts.

The nature of the conflict determines how the organ reacts, whether with a particular type of cancer, heart condition, osteoporosis, skin disorder, or with functional impairment as in diabetes or multiple sclerosis

This Emotion - Organ link is also confirmed in Core: Emotions - 1.3. Energy Medicine.

In all diseases, there are two phases: the conflict active and healing phases.

MS manifests itself within these two phases via two types of conflict. These conflicts are a Sensory conflict and a Motor conflict, representing changes seen in the brain's motor and sensory cortex.

Each type of conflict represents a specific emotional theme associated with our relationships.

Indeed, the nature of the emotional trauma or shock almost always relates to your relationships thoughts and feelings about someone or something.

With MS, GNM shows how, for lasting healing to occur, the key conflict one needs to resolve first is the:

Conflict of feeling trapped,
of not knowing what to do,
due to a fear of separation.

Then one needs to resolve:

The identity conflicts, and self-devaluation conflicts
often arising from the original separation conflict.

Has a light bulb flashed on yet?

For further illumination, let’s dig deeper into Dr Hamer’s findings....

References

1. Information about Dr Dean Ornish, professor of medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, and the president of the Preventive Medicine Research Institute can be found here. He is also author of the acclaimed “The Spectrum: A Scientifically Proven Program to Feel Better, Live Longer, Lose Weight, and Gain Health”.

2. To discover more about how Dr Ryke Geerd Hamer’s German New Medicine explains the origins of disease including MS, see Learning German New Medicine by Caroline Markolin, Ph.D.

   For empirical proof about GNM please see GNM Verifications.

3. For more about Bob Hoffman’s The Hoffman Quadrinity Process, and insights about how the Hoffman Process can help you resolve deep emotional trauma, see The Hoffman Institute Foundation and The Hoffman Process plus Women to Women: Emotions, health and stress.

   If you would like further insights, you may download “The Hoffman Process” PDF at Resources, or visit the Hoffman Institute site.